If your attack is going well, then it’s an ambush.
With P3 nearing an end, and it’s a toss-up between which will run thin first, nerves or motivation. My money’s on the latter. Maybe it’s due to the greater-than-expected workload, the intensive travel, the more fragmented social life, the heat, the unfamiliar place, the come-down from the stress of P1/P2 (at least for me), or the excitement of mingling with an entirely new group of people, but there’s an almost tangible lethargy in the air these days. Many of us are stressed; I’ve had my usual crisis-wracked moments of agonizing self-doubt. Generally, though, attitudes seem burned-out, apathetic, somehow deflated. Flaccid. Right.
Most groups have finished their projects and classes are winding down; even with our remaining core exams approaching, the hallways of our small Singapore outpost feel empty as people increasingly seem to disperse to who-knows-what watering hole, pool or condo. Unlike in Fonty, with its highly concentrated social activities and generally packed study areas, I can’t get a grasp of what it is people actually do outside of school, weekend trips or the bar of the week. Perhaps this school is reinforcing my desire for company (more pronounced from having worked largely on my own over the past years?) but I’m definitely looking forward to seeing all the familiar faces on campus, or to the concentrated hilarity of spontaneously knocking off to whatever chateau party-du-jour everyone happens to be at on a given evening.
After the mass exodus from Fonty in January (with its accompanying plaintive cries of abandonment from the sad little remnant of our original class), a reverse tide of humanity promises to inundate the forests. To tell the truth, many of us just seem Singapore’d-out, I certainly am. It’s not something I can put my finger on, but working on my MBA in this city seems somehow more melancholy and lonely than back in France (and the grass _is_ greener on the other side, I assure you.) Could it be that the more laid-back progress of the Singapore campus’ academics (at least compared to the living hell I put myself through) offsets the lesser cohesion (in my humble opinion) of the student body over here?
The P1s here seem like a very nuclear bunch — one can easily identify a “hard core” of charismatic party animals around which their groups congeal. I suppose it’s easier to observe these sorts of things when you’re not in the middle of it. Nonetheless, I get on well with a lot of them. Inexplicably, bizarrely, they seem so young, something even classmates of mine in their late ’20s have pointed out.
I had a meeting yesterday with Prof. Michael Brimm, a magnificent individual with a penchant for fine dining (!), about my job prospects. The man was encouraging and friendly — one of the most positive career-talks I’ve had to date. Back up. I’ve targeted luxury hotels, and everything around the upscale travel industry as a whole, as something to address. It’s something I know well from a consumer perspective, I love it, and I could see myself getting up enthusiastically in the morning to do this sort of job. Having closely looked at my original goal of going into luxury goods and decided that most of the good companies are fairly decentralized marketing & sales organizations that ride a given brand for what it’s worth, I start believing it’d be vastly more fun doing business development for a small outfit with a certain “something” in terms of style or attitude. I just wish there were more alumni working in the field — note to alumni: it’s really not helpful when you anonymize your industry or current employer in the database. A substantial part of what we’re paying for is the chance to meet you.
Wow, I need a job. Fortunately, a substantial amount of my stress about employment and money seems to have dissipated with the general end-of-period malaise, or maybe it’s the final fatalistic acceptance of the fact that I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and take out a loan. Fuckit, the future’s so bright, I’ve got to wear shades. Ideally a pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses. Failing that, I hear my trusty Wayfarers are finally coming back into style.
Today is the last day of classes, and after the standing ovation for our Philippe Haspeslagh, our exceptional M&A professor, I look around the jam-packed auditorium of Horatio’s final negotiation class (smooth move, making the Friday 19:15 session about salary negotiation.)
Indulge me in my usual elliptic way of getting where I’m going, this is yet another brick in the wall of my realization that I am neither a leader nor a good negotiator. although perhaps unsuccessfully trying to convince people to walk late into the final (and arguably most interesting) session of a professor who gently-yet-firmly ushers latecomers out without mercy and exception is not so much a great measure of my lacking inspirational powers. Rather, many of my colleagues and I are convinced that INSEAD students exhibit strong herd instincts and refusal to commit to things (great term: FOMO = “fear of missed opportunities.”)
A study I found underscores this brilliantly — get 5% of a crowd going in the same direction, and the rest of the mob will follows. In that vein, as a friendly tip for future students: unless you are a naturally charismatic organizational genius, don’t bother wasting time arranging trips or activities for INSEADers unless you’re perfectly happy striking out on your own; I started putting together my Kuching trip with 20 friends who were interested in joining me, and ended up having a great time on my own, blissfully unaware that 4 of my colleagues had decided to plan their own weekender there. Note to self (and to you, gentle reader): it’s great to spend time with classmates, but you’ll see them all week. And to be honest, it’ll probably be easier to convince some adventurous soul you ran into at a hostel to strike out and sightsee than a room full of hung over students. Failing that, buy a nice camera and enjoy the ride.
In any case, back on track, sitting in here I realize that I hate end-runs. However, oddly, this doesn’t feel like one; I know that I’ll see most of these people again shortly, and I don’t think I’ll feel particularly nostalgic about leaving Singapore. It’s been an interesting run, overall; I think I’ve accomplished my goal of changing scenery after fall’s experience. I intentionally didn’t overburden myself with excessive classwork; watching the poor bastards taking advanced corporate finance, investments, and god-knows-what other ways of self-flagellation this place comes up with, all at the same time, I count my blessings in that arena. I’ve put that off for next period. Once I figure out why my roommate put so much effort into convincing me to put myself through it. Maybe the profs give grade credit for fresh mea…er…recruits.
I miss Karin, and was serendipitously able to rebook my flight on an earlier plane. Unfortunately, my Managing Media Companies prof didn’t respond in time to let me know it wasn’t absolutely vital for me to be at the first session in March, thus causing us to miss some good flights out of Paris. Feh, it’ll be nice to be together again, and to be in a city where I don’t run the danger of being caned for talking smack about the prime minister in public.
Tonight, a few of us are off to the Raffles for one of a series of last hurrahs, and I’ll finally get to partake in a Singapore Sling. Not for the inherent greatness of having a fruity drink with a little umbrella in it, but just to check a little box on my list of to-dos. I’ve got an M&A group project to deliver by the 29th, and two exams to study for — it worries me that several people have independently asked me to tutor them on International Political Analysis. For some damn fool reason (probably because I’m one of the few who actually knew something about the topic beforehand — fair payback for Financeaccountingexceleconstatistics you smug consultant bastards! Damnit, it’s difficult feeling resentful of such good people.
Or maybe just because I speak up in class and love getting into arguments with my professors in topics that lend themselves to discussion — just wish they’d go for it more frequently) they’ve decided that I’m some sort of expert in the field. It’s interesting, true, but at this point, the only thing I know is that I don’t really know anything well enough to lecture anyone on it. Honestly, though, it’s an awesomely indescribably huge compliment when classmates I respect indicate that they think I’m good at something. I wish I got a bit more of that from INSEAD.
